Notice what I did not talk about…the actual act of sex. It’s not necessary at this point unless specifically asked. If you are directly asked any questions I encourage you to answer. Remember if you avoid it then they will learn not to talk about these things and they will get the information somewhere else and you will not like it!
  • Some of you may want to talk about sex itself and I encourage you to try to be patient with your child. That may be too much information at one time. Maybe wait to see if your child has more questions and what those questions are and then give it a few days. Maybe decide to talk about the rest at the end of the summer or in a month. Whichever works best for you and your family.
  • Not talking about sex isn’t the goal! The goal is to give them the information needed but be prepared for them to want more, especially if they are hearing things from friends. You want them to come to you with all the ridiculous things they hear from their friends and trust that you will be honest with them.

This is supposed to be a conversation not a lecture. They should get their time to talk or ask questions. It’s very interesting to hear their questions or thoughts, you will know a lot of information based on them. You will know if they are ready for more information or not and you will also set up an open dialogue so that they know they come back to you for the truth without judgment.

For more information listen to my radio show, “Parent Talk with Kary” on

About Kary Valdes

kary valdesKary Valdes, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker in Tennessee and Louisiana. She is a “Becoming a Love and Logic Parent” independent facilitator. She’s a member of the National Association of Social Workers and the Association for Play Therapy. Kary received her formal education at Tulane University in New Orleans, LA.

Kary has been working with troubled and at-risk children, teenagers and their families, and various capacities, for more than 20 years. She has worked extensively with children and a wide variety of settings including outpatient mental health clinics, residential treatment centers, and hospitals.

Kary maintains a private practice in the Green Hills area of Nashville, specializing in the mental health treatment of children and adolescents.

Contact me at 615-738-8708 with any questions about how to get simple tools and quick techniques that can change your family, help your children to become more confident and have fun!