Children should have the privilege of knowing about the development of themselves as well as that of the opposite sex.  It is good for them to know about the struggles of others. It teaches compassion and empathy. Teaching empathy is huge part of being a good person in life.

There is the obvious advantage which is knowing why a boys voice is cracking or why he has a tent in his pants and is completely red with embarrassment.  Boys may understand why girls are more tearful or have stomach aches or take longer in the restroom.

  • You will know if you told your child too young because they will tell everyone to the great misfortune of another child. Sorry! Most third graders are not ready for this information. If your daughter is developing then you have no choice but you can stress the importance of not telling others and hope that she can do it.
  • You should stress not telling younger siblings or their friends because their friends parents may not want them to know about anything and then you will have the kid that ruined it for the other parent. They will not like that!

So let’s talk about you now. If you cannot do this and you know if you can do it or not, find someone that you trust to tell them, an uncle, your best friend, your sister, etc. It’s not the best choice but having it come from a trusted adult is still better then another child.

Do your homework by reading books about anatomy for adolescents or puberty. Be prepared!

I had a hard time with this. The subject was not difficult but it felt like my child left his childhood and innocence and that was really sad for me. My son is fine and the girls are fine and hands down every time they ask you something related to sex you should be honored that they came to you and grateful for the opportunity.

For more information go to my radio show, “Parent Talk with Kary” on www.

About Kary Valdes

kary valdesKary Valdes, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker in Tennessee and Louisiana. She is a “Becoming a Love and Logic Parent” independent facilitator. She’s a member of the National Association of Social Workers and the Association for Play Therapy. Kary received her formal education at Tulane University in New Orleans, LA.

Kary has been working with troubled and at-risk children, teenagers and their families, and various capacities, for more than 20 years. She has worked extensively with children and a wide variety of settings including outpatient mental health clinics, residential treatment centers, and hospitals.

Kary maintains a private practice in the Green Hills area of Nashville, specializing in the mental health treatment of children and adolescents.

Child/Adolescent Therapy in Nashville

My therapy sessions focus on the family system as a whole. I see the child as my client but see the family as having a huge role in the success of the child and therapy.

I receive most of my continuing education training in subjects related to children specifically. I use sand tray play, play therapy, art therapy, talk therapy and any other type of interaction that will motivate the child to process, think and get through any troubles they are having.

I teach relaxation techniques and educate the family about techniques that would benefit the family system and not just the identified client.

Each session will involve a parent depending on the age of the client. How long the parent is in the room will be decided during the session. The parent will then be excused to the waiting area while I meet with the client alone or the child may be excused to the waiting while I meet with the parent alone.

The fastest, most successful clients have supportive parents that embrace the therapeutic process with the child.

My focus is helping parents and their children find solutions. With experienced intervention, your child can be a happier more confident individual, and your family can become a closer, more mutually supportive unit. There is no need to struggle alone; with help, things can change for the better, and you can resolve those nagging concerns.